How to Be a Good Walking Buddy

Being a good walking buddy comes down to a few things you keep doing over months, not one perfect walk. Be reliable, so the other person never has to wonder whether the walk is on. Agree what the walks are for, so you both get the walk you came for. Listen more than you talk, and ask about the thing they mentioned last week. Don't turn it into a competition. And when the arrangement stops working, say so kindly instead of letting it fade. None of this is about manners on the pavement. It's about what keeps two people walking together a year from now, and that's what the rest of this covers.

Be the one who never needs chasing

I'd put reliability first, because every other quality only counts if the walk happens. It's bigger than turning up on time. It means the walks keep happening without one person always being the one who texts first, picks the route and checks it's still on. When all of that falls on one side, that person starts to feel they're dragging the other along, and that feeling is often how a good arrangement begins to wind down. So share the organising. Take turns choosing the route, suggest the next date yourself now and then, and if you were the one who said "same time next week?", be the one who's there first. When you do have to miss a walk, offer another day in the same message, so the gap is a week and not a month. After a few months, your buddy should be able to plan around you the way they plan around their own commute.

Agree what the walks are for

Two people can walk the same loop and want completely different things from it. One wants a workout and keeps an eye on the pace; the other wants a long talk and would happily stop to look at someone's garden. Neither is wrong, but if nobody says it out loud, one of you is quietly disappointed every week. Have the conversation early, in plain words: "I'm trying to get fitter, so I'd like a brisk one," or "I mostly want to get out of the house and talk." If you want different things, you can still make it work. Some pairs alternate, a faster walk one week and a slower one the next. Others split a walk, brisk on the way out and easy on the way back, and some keep the shared walk for company and do their fast walks alone. What doesn't work is one of you pretending. Purpose also changes over time, so check every few months whether the walks still suit you both.

Don't turn it into a competition

My own view is that a shared walk has one real rule: don't make it a competition. It's easy to slide into, especially once you both count your steps. One of you speeds up to make a point, mentions a weekly total a little too often, or treats every hill as a test, and the other person stops enjoying it and eventually stops coming. If you're the fitter one, your job is to make the walk easy to say yes to, not to show how much more you can do. If you both enjoy a bit of rivalry, that's different, and a step race you've both agreed to can be fun. The test is whether you both chose it.

Photo: Vitaly Gariev, Pexels

Ask the second question

Most of a walk together is conversation, and the easiest way to be good company is to ask a follow-up question. In a set of studies published in 2017 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers looked at live conversations between pairs of people getting to know each other, online and at speed-dating events, and found that people who asked more questions, particularly follow-up questions, were better liked by the person they were talking to. The questions made them come across as more responsive, which the researchers describe as listening, understanding, validation and care. The participants themselves didn't expect that asking questions would make them more likeable. These were conversations between people who had only just met, not walking buddies, and an independent audit in 2025 found some minor reporting errors while confirming the conclusions. The point carries over well to a weekly walk. "How did the interview go?" is good; "What did they ask you?" is better. Remembering what your buddy told you last week, and asking how it turned out, is a follow-up question only a regular companion can ask.

Notice when your buddy is having a hard week

A good walking companion pays attention to more than the conversation. If your buddy is slower than usual, quieter than usual or keeps cutting the walk short, there's often a reason: a bad night, a sore knee, worry about work or family. You don't need to fix it, and you don't need to fire questions at them. Offering a shorter loop, an easier pace or a stop on a bench, without making a thing of it, does more, and if they want to talk, they will. Silence is fine too, because walking side by side makes a few quiet minutes comfortable in a way that sitting across a table doesn't. If your buddy mentions pain that keeps coming back or breathlessness that's new, encourage them to see a doctor rather than walking through it together. The same goes for you: being a good buddy includes saying when you need an easy week.

Photo: Vitaly Gariev, Pexels

Say so when it isn't working

Walking partnerships change. One person moves, starts a new job, gets much fitter, or wants different walks from the ones you share. The kind thing is to say so early and plainly, rather than cancelling one walk after another until it stops. Most of the time a change fixes it, so try that first: a different day, a shorter route, every other week instead of every week. If it can't be fixed, a clear line is better for both of you: "I've loved these walks, but my new hours don't let me do Thursdays any more." It lets the other person find someone else without wondering what they did wrong, and it leaves the door open to walk together again later. And if you're the one being told, take it at face value. Two lives drifting apart isn't a verdict on either of you.

A quick check on yourself

To see how you're doing as a walking partner, these questions cover most of it. Answer them honestly, and the ones you hesitate over are the ones to work on:

• Could your buddy plan their week around you?
• Do you know what they want from the walks, and do they know what you want?
• Do you share the organising, or does one of you do all of it?
• Have you asked about something they told you last week?
• Would you tell them if the arrangement stopped suiting you?

Keep each other going between walks with Walk With Me

In Walk With Me, once you're friends with someone you can make them your walking buddy. You see each other's steps, send one wave a day and keep a joint streak going, which helps on the days you walk apart. If you both fancy some rivalry, you can race each other for up to four weeks, and if you don't, nothing makes you. To find someone to walk with in the first place, the app shows walks near you on a map, so you can ask to join one or set up your own. There's more on finding a walking buddy. It's free on the App Store and Google Play.

Sources

• Huang K, Yeomans M, Brooks AW, Minson J, Gino F. It doesn't hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2017.
• American Psychological Association. Correction to "It doesn't hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking" by Huang et al. (2017). Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2025.